AMAZING

Yesterday, 11/11/11, a miracle occurred for me and my husband. We had both really wanted to go spend this day together, no special reason, just wanted too. As we drew near, it looked like life had other plans. Then, at the very last minute...literally, 9pm the night before, plans changed.

Don had given up hope, and really didn't want to go. We had been planning for a while to go out hunting. 11/11/11 was his opening day for a Bull Elk hunt. In a unit he loves to hunt. He had been planning and scheming about it for a while, and then the night before he is backing down.

I didn't let him.

We took the girls to my sister in law the night before so we could get up at 4:30am, drive an hour and half to the mountains, and one of my favorite places, Island Park.

We got there just as the sun was rising, there was almost 12" of snow on the ground, and a frigid 6 degrees. I was so excited, I don't know why for sure, but this morning reminded me of mornings long ago.

We started our trek straight up a mountain....not my favorite, but I was so excited. I had made a decision to not whine once all day. We tromped through the snow for two hours or so, when I saw some elk.....very, very far away. Just a couple of cows, we think, but at least some elk.

We walked for a couple of more hours, decided to stop on the top of a ridge, for a snack. There were our elk directly across from us on the other ridge, about 750 yards as the crow flies. We watched them and started counting head, some cows, a spike (baby bull). All laying and resting, soaking in the sun. Not a care in their world.

No bulls, so we decided to circle around our ridge, headed back. Once we were standing I stopped to have one last look at these elk. I love hunting.....the real reason I love it, is seeing these amazing animals in the wild, being right there, right then. It is fun, to bring them home on occasion, but the real hunt for me is simply just finding them.

Anyways, I am watching the little herd, not really aware that Don is watching them too, when he gets all excited.

"Branch Antler Bull" he exclaims!

Sure enough I scan the mountain side, and there lying under a tree sleeping is a beautiful bull. Now the hunt is really on. I put my binos down and look at Don, who has this ridiculous grin on his face.

"What?" I ask.

His reply..."I am just wondering if I might kill you."

I already know what he is thinking, which would require reaching the peak of our ridge, dropping into a bowl, cross to the other ridge and drop down on these elk. How can I saw no, but it will kill me. I offer to stay behind, and watch...he won't let me. I think he is worried I might do something stupid and break a leg. He offers to head back....saying there are more elk in here. A concession that I can't take from him, he deserves to try.

So try we do. We reach the top of our ridge, a straight 200 yards up a rock face. We stop to watch the elk again, and make a path. The bowl is not passible, so we need to go down. I am spent, and we are directly across from the elk. We decide that I am going to climb out on these sheer rocks, and wait to give Don hand signals as he gets close. (Dippy forgot his cell phone!)

So Don goes down, and I climb out onto this ledge. It is amazing, I am sitting on a Lava Rock ledge, if I slip it is a really long ways to the bottom. I can see all of Island Park Resevior which is really saying something.

I get to sit there for two full hours watching these amazing animals. I watch as the Spike (baby bull) is rolling in the snow like a dog. Two baby calves are playing in the snow. There are TWO BIG BULLS! I keeping looking for Don, but I never see him.

I watch as the bigger bull of the two lays down by some trees, with a grumpy old hag cow right below him. His watch dog. Still no Don. A little more time goes by, and then out of no where the hag comes running down the mountain. The bull leaves his bed right behind her. I guess they see Don.

I start doing hand signals like crazy, as Don steps out of the trees, but it is all to late and the Elk are gone. I feel sad to see them go, and I can feel Dons defeat from across the ridge. I climb out of my post, and hike/slide down the mountain. When I reach Don, he confirms that he saw the big bull run out right in front of him, but never had a good shot. He is sad, but thrilled to have been that close to such a beautiful bull. Next time, we have all month....guess he won't have much work motivation, and I might get in shape (or die trying)!!!

The hike out is hell, we have to go through the bottom of the ravine, over lots of down fall, cross Blue creek, where yes Daddy, I got soaked. We run into our Elk again, but we are right behind them, and no good views. I made it out....I did trip and fall about 3/4 mile from the truck and just laid there wondering if I could get back up, but I didn't whine not once.

It was an Amazing Day.

Need to join my age group!

So it is pretty bad when you have a rude awakening that your mother is cooler, hipper, and up to all the blogging, cyber web facing, interfacing with all you computer junkies, when I am thirty years younger and I taught her how to use the Internet in the first place.

My mother has an IPOD, a KINDLE, TWO BLOGS, she TWEETS, she FACEBOOKS, and who knows what else. She is constantly sending me invites to Google+, GOOD READS, and more to follow her everywhere via the Internet. She has been hounding me for weeks to SKYPE!

GOOD GRIEF! How does this happen, who took over my mother, and where is she!!

Actually I am proud of her. All these things are great tools for us to use, and the majority of us are not using them as designed. We are wasting free advertising, free networking, free, free, free!

My excuse is a poor one, time! It really is a poor excuse. I work at an emergency clinic (veterinarian) as a technician, and we are either CRAZY or DEAD! I have time, they allow me to bring my computer to work, they allow me to access the Internet, and with in reason do as I please. So my excuse is a poor one. I am currently at work typing this, as a matter of fact.

The real reason I am being left behind is I am intimidated!!!! I have no idea how to use this stuff, I don't know where to start, and half the time it gets all munged up, and I just throw my hands in the air, and threaten my computer. I just missed the boat of computer networking being taught in school, when I was in high school the Internet was new, high tech, and expensive. Yes, I come from the era of no tech, to new tech. My dad had a bag phone!

Everything is moving so fast, if you do not stay on top of it you get swiped off and fall behind.

So my quest is to try to stay on top of this Internet craze and to join the forces of cyber junkies. Like it or not, here I come!

Smells

Isn't it amazing how a single smell can take you away. Back to where you once were, good, bad, or indifferent.

My daughters came home today from the neighbors who have a wood burning stove. Because it is snowing like November outside today, they had the stove roaring. I was able to have a few moments with my girls, before heading to my second job. As I was sitting on the couch just snuggling them I was soaking in the wonderful scent of a wood burning stove, and relishing those thoughts and memories of my childhood.

As I was growing up, we always had a wood burning stove. Actually my parents have a custom, handmade stove that they received for a wedding gift I believe. I love that stove, so much that seeing as they have decided on a permanent vacation in the Islands I have request ownership of said stove. I wish that I could install it in my current home, but we lack the space. So I have a special spot already planned for it, in the dream home we hope to build someday on our 20 acres.

Anyways, I always loved how in the cold months that stove made our house a home. It was warm and comforting. Often I would play, color, or curl up right by that stove. I loved watching my dads ritual of cleaning the stove. I have fond memories of going into the woods as a family to cut wood. I never had to work, I explored. One of my favorite pastimes, exploring the woods.

We used to dry our boots, mittens, everything by the stove. I loved, at night right before bed, standing by the stove soaking in as much warmth as possible and running to bed taking the heat of the stove with you.

As much as I love the Ocean, as much as I love my parents Island. I could never not snowing falling and a warm fire to sit by. It was how I was raised and it is something I truly do love. This is why I need to win the lottery, build that dream house and have a cabana by the ocean too!

For now, I will have to visit the neighbors.

I am gonna kill them!

MY DOGS! That's who.

So we have been fighting for over a year with our neighbor, over our dogs. You have to understand that this man hates dogs, with a passion. He shot the neighbors in cold blood. Once their dog was gone, check, he moved onto ours.

It started with a barking dog nuisance, that has snowballed into 6 misdemeanor charges for disturbing the peace, thousands of dollars in fines, informal probation for Don. The purpose of this blog is not the details of all of that....see past blogs for those.

Today I went to the store...bought some groceries. Some dinner items, some special treats, gourmet cookies, chocolate, going to have a pleasant night. You know how it is. Crazy days, wanted to treat the family.

So had to leave for twenty minutes to pick up Macy from the bus, left the dogs inside, locked out of my bedroom where a brand new mattress and comforter set do not need dog juice and hair. I had not even unpacked any of the groceries yet, left them on the counter.

Now a year a go, I would have quickly put the dogs into the Taj-mahal Kennel that inhabits my backyard. But due to before mentioned neighbor, $2000.00 just sits in my back yard growing weeds.

So I leave, and come back to find that Gunner and Zip, 2 of our 4 dogs, had devoured all my food. ALL OF IT. Now for those of you who don't know Zip and Gunner are our senior dogs. Gunner will be 9, and Zip is 7. Trustworthy right, apparently not.

They ate:

1 dozen gourmet peanut butter cookies

1 dozen hamburger buns, plus half the package.

1 large bag of chocolate candy, including half the package and every single individual wrapper, but one...I must of come in the door just then for them to have left it.

1lb raw hamburger

I had no words, I didn't even beat them. They will get theirs, sometime tonight around midnight their tummies will rumble and up it will come. I simply took them to the garage, the were excited thought they were going for a ride. Shoved them both into a crate that fits only one. Closed the door, the partners in crime can be partners in diarrhea tonight.

CRAZY DAYS!

So I of course follow my mothers blog, and she was talking about how bad she feels for not writing daily.

I come to my blog.....HOLY CRAP, it's been a month!!! To the day. I don't think I have many followers!! Not many of you have followed me in a literal sense anyways. So probably not a big deal, but to me it is.

Things have been BUSY! Actually the truth is the weather has finally turned, and I am motivated and excited to be outside. So therefore, my computer has sat and collected dust. Not all bad, sometimes it feels like you get sucked into the vortex of the internet, and then you step out and you realize you have been gone for hours!!

My girls also make it next to impossible for mom to sit at the computer much longer than 15 minutes.

SO THE HIGHLIGHTS (and LOWLIGHTS) TO THIS CRAZY MONTH:

8 1/2 years later and we finally built us a fire pit in our backyard. I have wanted one sense we built this house, but for some reason....I think I didn't want to dig a hole in my yard, I was waiting for one of those fancy $$ man made fire pits. Then Monday Macy and I were shopping and she asked if we could make Smore's. "Real Smore's with a camping type fire, not the microwave" She says. That night we made a fire pit, roasted mellows (as Macy still calls them), and had our Smore's.

Crazy neighbor is at it again. He cited our dogs for barking again....it is a blatant lie. They were outside, with bark collars on, not barking. He called Animal Control, claimed out dogs barked for an hour straight. So back through the gamet.....talked to Animal Control Officers, our neighbor a County Deputy, and the Sargent of Human Resorces. The end result and council was to go to Court (with out a lawyer this time big waste for $2000), plead not guilty, go to the pretrail confrence with signed statements from all my neighbors, and hope that my neighbor will be seen in his true light and case will be dismissed. So far the one good thing is Animal Control is done, and they will no longer let my neighbor civilian cite me. They are done being his transportation for harrasment.

We got a bird, she is a Jenday Conure. Smaller parrot. She sqwaks a lot, makes a great cow elk call, and loves to perch on our doors. She is very pretty likes to sit on your shoulder. Macy loves her, even though it was my Mother's Day gift! Her name is Kaytee.

Our one Chesapeake is pregnant and going to have fancy AKC Chesapeake puppies in June.

We are breeding our one stallion to several outside mares. A good idea sense we have no mares of our own to breed to him. This is a lot of work, but the good news it is making us a little extra cash.

I have a Tomato Plant, and a great Strawberry plant. Macy is so excited. She wanted a garden, but between my grey thumb and the dogs, a garden is just out of the question. So we planted a tomato plant in a pot, and got a hanging strawberry plant. Macy loves it, and keeps eating all my strawberries the minute they are ripe!

SO we have had a lot going on. Thrilled that it is finally Spring/Summer. Trying to enjoy it as much as possible. Don't want to waste a minute....so I better go!!!

Sweaty Palms!

Well, I did it. I actually did it. I spent the money, and stepped off the proverbial fence I have been on for over two years......and I applied, was accepted, registered and start class on May 16.

I am on my way to actually getting my AAS as a Veterinary Technician. I will have an associates degree, and if I actually finish, pass the State Exam I will eventually be a LVT (licensed veterinary technician) WOW!

And....my palms are sweating. Actually I am wondering if all this moisture will ruin my keyboard?? I am sooooo nervous, stupid I know but I am worried...will I be able to take this ONE course and pass, will I be tearing my hair out just trying to find the time. Is it going to be hard??? What if I fail, what if I quit, what if tomorrow the truck dies and I need the $369.00 I just blew to register for my class. ONE CLASS and look at me, thank goodness I didn't sign up for 3! I would probably be limp in my chair!

Well, wish me luck. Luck that my internet works when needed (online course), luck that I am not working on my class nightly for 2-3am because that is the only time I have, luck that I stick to this and don't panic and loose interest, luck above all that I finish and reach a goal!

Oh by the way, if I am not blogging that would be because the time I had is now devoted to screaming at my computer trying to get in an assignment due in 15mins, that's all!

Run Free

Monday started as a good day. I was motivated to get some things done. My house was in dire need of being cleaned. My floors were filthy, I had a large stack of dishes, and much more to do.

My mother called, and I got to talk with her for a while...we always talk a while anymore. The weather was not perfect, but considering what we had been having,

it wasn't bad. As I was ending my phone conversation with my mom, I looked out my back window to check on a cow that had been laboring off and on all morning. Sure enough, brand new baby calf just coming into the light of this world. It was a good day.

I was making good progress in cleaning, floors just needed moped, dishes we done, laundry was coming to a close. I went out back to check on mom and calf. To my surprise I was going to have another baby, Peppy our favorite, most beloved mare was in foal and due any day. It appeared she had entered into the final stages of labor.

Thunder clouds started rolling in, and the wind picked up. I stayed outside with her for twenty minutes or so. I started thinking about the girls inside, I thought Macy might enjoy seeing a foal be born. I came inside Rozi was still sleeping, got Macy and we h

eaded back outside.

We waited and watched. I started to realize that things were not progressing like they should, and that we had a problem. Saying nothing to Macy we came back inside, and I called work.

One of the vets was in town "shopping", the other said he would come as soon as possible. Thirty minutes later he arrived and I went rushing out to meet him. I had been watching Peppy from the window and I knew things were getting bad. She was up and down, hardly able to stand the pain.

He palpated her, which I had already done, and told him that she was just barely dilated, which is not good. He agreed. Her pain was so eminent, we could not even see her contractions anymore. He gave her banamine (anti-inflammatory) , assessed her as unready to deliver and was packing his bag with instructions to watch her through the night.....I was not impressed. He decided to check her heart rate, by my watch and his count her HR was at 100......incredibly high, close to inducing shock in a horse. At that moment Macy hollered for me from the house, I had to go check the girls.

As I was racing up to the house I was really wishing that the other vet from the clinic would have come, praying for Peppy's safe delivery of her new foal, and that she would be fine, and I quickly added please send the other vet. I soothed Rozi, put in a movie for Macy and headed back out the door. There in my backyard was a bright red Chevy, owned by the other doc. Thank God!

I walked up to them in the middle of discussion. The first Vet was debating on

Colic, the second was asking about Uterine Torsion. That was my exact thoughts and concerns about Peppy. More accurately, I was thinking about the time years ago when I had been told, :well, look at it this way, this is so rare you won't possibly have to endure it again."

There was another emergency for another client and they were debating about what to do. I could tell that Doc number two was highly concerned about my mare, and wanted to get to work on her. Vet One decided to leave and go to the other call. Again, thank God. Everyone has there specialty and horses are not Vet One's.

Immediately Vet Two went to work on Peppy, he also quickly assessed her cervix to be too small to deliver. He decided to sedate her to help calm her pain and keep her still so h

e could exam her better and make progress. A friend called, he was calling for another reason entirely but I told him I needed help with the girls, a man and all, he rushed right over. He only lives two miles away so he arrived while sedation was taking effect. He went right inside to see how the girls were doing. Vet Two checked progress on the cervix, and it had increased in size so he was able to rupture her placenta (break her water) hoping this would increase her contractions. We were still unable to evaluate what was wrong with Peppy. All we know was she had acute pain, her contractions were working against her, and the foal was still alive. My friend came out, Macy was intently watching her movie, and Rozi had fallen back asleep. Vet Two was shoulder deep inside Peppy, and finally found our problem. She was in fact my worst fear, a Uterine Torsion.

To those who are not medical junkies, a Uterine Torsion, is when the uterus in fact twists, just like you would twist a bag to close. Once it is twisted there is no way for the foal to receive it's vital resources from the mare. Blood and oxygen are cut off. The foal will slowly begin to die. Next her body becomes toxic from the death of her fetus, and she to dies. As for treatment, you can open her from both sides while standing, and manually twist the uterus back to the right position. Then you sew her back up, and hope that she can deliver the foal naturally. Unfortunately you need a mare who can stand, and due to the large amounts of pain induced by a torsion, they have a hard time standing. If you do nothing you will loose both mare and foal.

It began raining as I stood there and watched the labored breathing of one of my closest friends. I knew before he began telling me the fate of this great mare. Unfortunately, by some ill fate we had already experienced this once in a lifetime medical disaster. It had ended abruptly, and all was lost.

Vet Two had given me my options, options I already knew. We had to decide quickly if there was even hope of one life being saved. I ran to the pick-up where I knew our .22 pistol was stored under the seat. As I reached for it, thoughts raced through my head and tears, as they do right now, welled to my eyes. Life is such a precious gift, a gift I get to see yearly as our foals and calves are born into this world. A gift I hold dear to my heart as I rock my little ones in my lap. A gift I value as I feed my family, the meat we have hunted or raised. I brought the pistol out from under the seat, and walked slowly back to where she lay.

Vet Two took the pistol with brief instructions, and my friend wrapped his large bear like body around me and held me tight as the wind whipped around us all. One loud sharp sound, and I opened my eyes to Vet Two furiously cutting into her side. I quickly rushed over and helped pull a struggling, slimy mess from within her. I ripped at the placenta with my bare hands, praying for a loss to heal into a life.

A large beautiful bay roan colt emerged, with a tiny white star, and big bright eyes. He was looking deep into mine, as tears still streamed down my face. I watched as Vet and friend dragged him into the shelter out of the storm, he was snuggled into clean warm straw and struggling to grasp life.

Risks are taken as that. You win some you loose some. Life is full of choices, we all make them good ones, bad ones, indifferent ones. This was a good one, a life for a life. A risk worth taking, even at great loss. Don had come home at the end of this tale, his heart was heavy as we tried, and tried to keep those big brown eyes from closing.

This story has an unhappy ending. Those big, dark eyes closed for good that night. He is with his mom in pastures too green. Where horses run free, and clouds never grey. His life would have been tough, and his sentence was grim. He is where he will be best, with his mother forever running free.

WAITING.......

I hate waiting......

I am currently waiting for the wind to stop and the sun to shine. We really want to go outside.

I currently feel like I have a lot on hold right now, waiting on one thing. I am a very impatient person, so it is always a trail for me to wait. It is not a big deal, no harm in waiting, but it is driving me crazy.

I also hate for certain things to happen in a hurry. I am a natural procrastinator....but there are a few things I don't like to do that with. While I am waiting, I am risking putting some of those things into a huge procrastinated pattern. Not thrilled, but I know that right now it is important to wait.

So I will keep waiting, I will try to not go silently insane, and I know that eventually the wait will be over, and I will move forward.

Funny thing, I am waiting for some news. I could go either way on this one, at this point I just wanna know which way it is I am going. I "think" I would prefer one way over the other....but at this moment I am not really sure. I guess I will just hurry up and wait.

Good news is that tomorrow is supposed to be 59 degrees, no wind, gorgeous!! We are gonna go play outside, all day!!

My Island

I was missing my mom today, depressed by the snow, and wishing we could have a fun day together to take my mind off of it.

Plans changed for a friend and we decided to go to town together, not the same, but the nexxt best thing. She bought me a gift, it really gave me a piece of my mom and her island.

One of the coolest things in St. Croix is all the jungle flowers. When we were there in August there were these beautiful Jungle flowers in bloom everywhere, my favorite was the hibiscus that grew all over, including right out my mom's front door. So in Sam's Club of all places they had these beautiful planted Hibiscus trees. I loved it and really wanted one but was being cheap. Chelsey bought it for me as a Thank you.

It is beautiful, and will look beautiful inside, until we truly have summer than it can live outside and then come back in for the winter. I will have my own small island year round ( I plan to add a fish tank with seahorses someday). Something that when again I am missing my mom I can sit down and look at my Hibiscus and imagine hers, by her pool, her door, and everywhere else on her island.

It's the small things really, that make the most out of life.

FIRST DAY OF SPRING - And I'm 30!

Welcome 30!

I have done a lot in 30 years, but the last 30 years were the expected 30 years. You are born, you grow and go to school - 12yrs, then you should go to college - 4yrs, I went 1 1/2, and then tried my hand at some practical knowledge, you get married I have done that - 8yrs. We have had kids, and in a few short weeks I will have been a parent for 5yrs. Collectivly that is 29yrs of life lived, summed up really quick.

Now for my 30th year and on......I have no plans!

I mean, I plan to be a good mom, a great wife. I hope to continue my lifelong education, I hope to grow in my job, or out of it - however you look at that. I hope to live life fully, to explore, play, relax, and enjoy life.

I know there will be sorrow, I know there will be difficult times, I know that I can't always succeed in life. But I plan to try.

But, I have no BIG PLANS.....I like it. I am sure that by tomorrow that will change. I have to have my lists, I have to have my goals......but for today, on my birthday I have no plans other than to be better at the most important things in life, Motherhood, Marriage, and Me, to make me a better person.

Hows that for the next 30 years. I plan to be a mother, a wife, and to make me be the best that I can.

Thank you mommy and daddy for bringing me into this wonderful world thirty years ago. Thank you for at almost this same point in your life also becoming my mother. Thank you for setting a great example as parents, and as people. Thanks for giving me the opportunity, and I look forward to sharing the next 30 years with you as well!!

Love

Me

Holy Cow!

First of all, I just realized it has almost been a month since my last post!! How totally boring for those of you who check in on me.

Second, I am turning 30 in exactly 4 days (4 1/2 technically a 1/2 a day left today). I can't believe it. I actually was dreading turning 30 a year ago. Usually I procrastinate, but I think I jumped the gun and stressed out about turning 30 a whole year in advance, because now that I am staring it in the face, I am thinking "Bring It On"!

Bring On the next 30 years. I don't want my kids to grow up, but since it is the inevitable.....I look forward to having a front row seat to the main event. I am looking forward to the travels, adventures, and mysteries of the next 30 yrs. I am hoping for bucket loads of self improvement, deep pools of fun, and everlasting joy. I now their will be disappointments, and sad times, but who looks forward to those kind of things.

I like to make lists (thanks mom) and I had made a list when I turned 29 of things I wanted to achieve before I turned 30. Funny thing is a didn't achieve any of the things on the list, but I did some really amazing, fun, and new things last year. I topped it all off with my best surprise of the year, Rozalyn. So instead of making lists, and plans to be fowled. I am just looking and waiting for all the the things just beyond the horizon. I know that there are great things ahead, and I am all for them.

Besides, everyone knows the old adage "Everything gets better with time".

Ahhhh a day off!

Morbid moment at work yesterday, made me really wonder why I like my job. Sometimes we have to do things that are necessary, but so awful.

I don't know if it is the stress of things, due to the remodel and such, but work has really been a drag. I literally have to drag myself out of bed the days I work. I really used to love my job, I felt important, and I wanted to be there. Now I feel like a slave, who is overworked and under appreciated. Nobody seems to care if I go the extra distance. I am constantly finding, and fixing complete screw ups. Yet, my bosses are doing nothing to improve the situation even though they are well aware of it.

I love animals, and on occasion I get to do my job description "Veterinary Technician". Those moments I love it, don't care that I am under appreciated, and feel like I am really using my talents and abilities. However, most the time I am answering phones, cleaning the toilet, apologizing for our short comings, and doing laundry. I would do these things everyday without blinking....if I could do more of the actual things that fall under my job description. I would not complain if I felt like my efforts, my above and beyond attitude was noticed and appreciated. I try to tell myself that, yes I am appreciated, yes they did notice that I went above and beyond. Yet, the truth shines in their actions and words.

For example, I personally, on my own, worked with a client to sell them a Powder River Squeeze Chute. I called the distributor several times, bent over backwards, argued and dickered with our distributor of this equipment, called the client, called the distributor, back and forth. Finally yesterday the client came in and decided that yes, they are going to buy the item. They are spending $9000.00, of which the clinic receives 20% of the retail value. Will I get a bonus will I get 1%. NOPE! Nada, of course if I worked at Walmart, or John Deere I wouldn't expect it because my title is Retailer, however that is not my title yet I do it anyway.

My true job title should be something like: Animal Care Specialist, with Mechanic abilities (including lawn mowing and tractor operator), Painter, Maid, Receptionist, Retailer, Counselor, and Punching Bag.

I try to tell myself that this is what it is to work for someone else, but I am beginning to really think there is better options. At least somewhere I might be equally compensated for that above mentioned job title.

Anyways, had to vent somewhere.

The beauty of it, I have the next two days off.

Be My Valentine

I was out doing a few short errands in the metropolis of Ririe today and happened to drive past the cemetery.

There close to the road, were some bright red balloons tied to a headstone. The sight made me catch my breath, and realize how terribly sad I would be to have to take my Valentine to the cemetery. It saddened me to see someone had loved someone so much, and on this day of celebration of that love they had traveled to the cemetery to leave their valentine, because that loved one had moved on before them.

I again am so grateful to have my husband to love and hold, to have my babies to snuggle and kiss, to have my parents to send my love to. I am grateful for all my friends who care and send love to me, and I to them.

I believe in Heaven, and I know that there is Eternity. I know that someday my husband and children will have to go....but not before they all get to live life to the fullest, love to the fullest and be loved. I hope to go and be there with them to be able to always share my love with them and celebrate our love for each other.

I don't want my love to end with balloons tied to a headstone.

So I wanted to make sure that on this special day of love to anyone that I have missed telling. I love you, and I love your love, friendship, and warmth. I am your Valentine, please be mine.

I Love You.

All You Need Is Love, Love Is All You Need

I love that song! Obviously seeing as Macy knows the words from repeated singing, and Rozi lights up every time she hears it.

But its really true. To feel loved does amazing things for ones soul. It lifts us up to where we belong, it sends chills up and down our spine. It makes our heart feel light and fluffy, we feel invincible with love.

It doesn't have to be the romantic type either, love from a friend, mother/father, sister or brother. Even when you feel your boss loves what you do at work, it makes your heart grow.

I am a hopeless romantic, a trait that sometimes surprises people about me. It is something I keep guarded, because it is important to me to have love. It is also very important to me to not be teased or chastised for loving love so much.

So today, to all that read this post, I am letting my guard down, letting you know I believe in LOVE and it's powers to heal, change, grow, and above all be the one thing in life that can sustain us to hold on. Love of God, Life, Family, Friends, and Ourselves.

All you need is Love......All you need is Love, Love.....Love is all you need.

Happy Valentines

Guilty

I have had a loss for words......

I have had that experience lately where you had an idea about something, faith in a situation working out a certain way, and when all the dust had settled, I ended up on the wrong side of my idea.

Disappointment has left me with nothing to say.

I am sure in the end, the grand scheme, it doesn't really matter. I have learned from my lesson and that's the most that can be said.

I am saddened to have learned that certain things in life are not as they seemed, and guess that sometimes until you experience certain things outright you still believe in chivalry and the likeness of it.

No matter, judgement has been passed and guilty is my shame.

BORING!!

I had all that fun and excitement last weekend and now I have nada.

Oh wait I feel like I am hemorrhaging money I don't have, if you wish you could call that exciting.

In January had to spend $500 on the car to get an oil leak fixed. Now today our Transmission in the truck has decided to quit working. FUN STUFF!! I am sure that will be a minimum of $500. All this money I don't have!!

I have been paying a lawyer money to defend myself from my crappy neighbor who decided to charge me with disturbing the piece with a Barking Dog Citation, which also happens to be a misdemeanor. Again money I don't have just walking out the door. Also on top of that it is currently set to go to trail, jury trial that is. Of course because I can't afford that as of right now it appears I am going to have to change my plea to "Guilty" because I can't afford to prove my innocence.

Isn't that a crock. This is what our country has come too. You are only as innocent as you can afford to be.

Okay I will quit complaining. At least we have our jobs, both of us are employed and make good money. We all have our health. I have lots of love surrounding me. I am blessed. I have to focus on that, and trust that it will all work out.

Other than that a boring weekend, I guess I will go log off and watch a movie with the family. At least I have that right :)

Made It Count

Sorry, I really was going to try and post about this yesterday, but I was EXHAUSTED!!

So for as long as I can remember I have wanted to have my own Sled Dog team and be a musher. When I was a little girl I would tell people that: "I was going to grow up and race in the Iditarod." I read every Jack London book, I watched any movie I could with Alaska and or Sled Dogs in it. I just ate that stuff up. I grew older the dream never faded, the goal got more realistic, I just wanted a chance to experience it, and chance to work some dogs, and maybe someday run a team.

Well, yesterday morning I went to a client from the vet clinic's house where he raises Alaskan Huskies. We loaded up in his dog truck, complete with dog box full of whining, barking huskies, sled piled on top and took off for Ashton, Id. Once in Ashton at one of their groomed trails we unloaded 24 dogs, 3 sleds and went to work setting up.

The enthusiasm of the dogs as you unload them from their boxes, and hook them to the gang lines is unbelievable, and contagious. I was grinning so hard my mouth still hurts. I am sure I looked like a kid in a candy store for the very first time. It amazed me as they hooked up the first team. I just stood back and watched, but the dogs were WILD! Jumping around, on top of, and over each other. They could not contain themselves. I am thinking to myself how on earth are you going to ever get those guys lined out to run. Then almost as quick as I thought it, Mindy one of the Mushers steps on the runners of that sled, yells "Hike" and those dogs throw themselves forward in straight lines and where gone like a flash! Unbelievable.

Then the fun really started. We got our team of 8 dogs ready. Linda (my Musher for the day) started harnessing the dogs. They showed me how, and I helped harness them up. They had the sled anchored off to the truck and we started hooking dogs to the gang line. You unhook them from the truck and they drag you over to the gang line on the sled, hold still for you for about a half a second, in which time you are supposed to clip them up to 2 lines, and then they start bouncing like Mexican jumping beans.

We got them all hooked up and Linda yells "Get in the basket" I jump in the sled, hardly have a seat and "HIKE" whoosh we were off. You can't let them stand in the lines too long or disaster strikes.

It was beautiful, I just couldn't believe it.

Course, we went about half way through the 10 mile loop and Linda slows and stops the dogs. She offers me the runners. Of course I leap out of that basket and take my post on the break barely holding the dogs down as she gets into the basket. She settles in asks if I am ready (boy am I) and "HIKE"!

One small problem, my snow pants, which are a little too big got caught on the break and FAWUP. I am a human snow shovel plowing down the trail as I leave Linda stranded in the basket and the dogs go racing down the trail. I of course yelled, but the first time she didn't hear me, due to the large amount of snow stuffed down my throat, the second holler sent her into a panic, and she started throwing hooks out (safety brakes basically). Luckily her first hook caught and the sled came to a stand still, she got out and held the break while I ran up the trail. I thought for sure she was gonna say get back in that basket and don't move.

She was smiling as was I, and she says: "Ya wanna try that again." Of course I did. This time with no event we went off down the trail at ease. Of course she kept laughing off and on the whole trip back, saying it was a first for her. And had to tell the rest of the crew the minute we got back, but it was worth being razzed about.

All and all, it was amazing. I can't wait to go again. Despite my whoopsie I have a standing invitation to come anytime. Dave the owner of Black N Blue kennels has promised he would take me as far as I wanna go.

Iditarod? Who knows, I was taught to reach for the stars.

2 Months!

Can you believe it! I sure can't, Rozalyn is 2 months old today!!! Time goes by sooo fast. It is hard to imagine that before I know it she will be up and walking, running, dancing, and then before you know it they are gone. I just can't even think about it!!

I decided we had to have some pictures!!! She is changing right before my eyes and I don't even realize it. I am sure you will all notice though!!

She is growing and doing great. Her BIG SISTER adores her, she got over the "not want to share stage" really quickly, and loves to help, hold, and play with her little sister already. Hopefully that lasts! I really wanted to have siblings to play with, and I really wish that today I had siblings to talk to, hang out with, share moments and holidays with. That is why I am really glad Macy has Rozi and the other way around. I hope they build a strong bond that never breaks.

I feel really blessed to have such beautiful, bright, happy children. They make my life complete.

WOW

I am absolutely exhausted on Thursday's!! I can't believe how tired I am, I used to work 4 days a week in a row, have Fridays off to run around like a chicken, and I did not feel this tired. I don't think anything is wrong with me, I think I am just worn out. I do have to admit I feel like a single mother at times, so maybe that is what is wearing me out!!

We have been really slow at work lately, and I think that when you are idle it tends to make you even more tired. Not sure if that is true for everyone but it seems to be for me. I also think that on the days I work I am truly sleep deprived, so then on Thursday I am making up for it, I had to literally DRAG myself out of bed this morning at 9:30! Not like I was trying to get up at 6am or anything, 9:30 and I am forcing myself out of bed. Macy has already been up watching cartoons for an hour and a half at this point.

I don't go to bed until 10ish on Monday night, wake up at 12 - 1 feed Rozi and then get up at 5, then I do the same thing Tues and Wed, so I think by Thursday since I can I try to catch up on my sleep.

Oh well, I felt so guilty for sleeping in I did at least get right up and go crazy cleaning. I managed to accomplish a lot driven by guilt so I guess that works, right?

Well, I guess if it works it works.

I did finally try Zumba, a form of Latin Dance aerobics on Monday. It was a blast, and I worked my butt off. I had sweat pouring off of me like rain in a rain forest. Going again tonight as long as Don's plans stay out of my way.

But that is a whole other story.

One more thing, I wrote a while back about resolutions. I did not know it, but unconsciously one of my resolutions must have been to get off my A@$ and JUST DO IT!!! Because I am finally really doing just that, I guess I had to brag a little. And if all goes as planned, this coming Sunday I will actually for the first time in my life go dog sledding, not watching, actually running a team.

Talk about a LIFETIME goal achieved. I am a little superstitious courteous of my mother so I hope I didn't jinx it by saying it out loud right now, but I will let you know how it goes!!!!

Money, Money!

OK, on the heels of my children contracting Typhoid Fever (figuratively speaking), I need to find ways to make more money without having to deposit my children at bacteria lane!!

There are things I really want, need, and can't live without (food, diapers) and unfortunately all these THINGS cost money. I have a couple of ideas, and one I have even attempted to set in motion, but every time I get an idea, I start to doubt the idea.

Example: Take on some Mustangs to adopt out through the BLM...makes me some money plus I feel good about what I have done. So I start planning and setting it up, and then WHAMO...hay prices have gone through the roof, actually through the SKY!! And I am left wondering if we can afford to feed one more mouth around here.

I have had some other ideas, a few I am still working on, others that probably won't really work out, but either way I need to find a way to make a few extra dollars. I don't want to just be scrapping by if I can help it, I love to travel, and do the things we do....so I need MONEY!

This is not an attempt to start a donation fund in my name, just venting. Ya know put it in writing so you can hold yourself to it trick. Instead this is put it in writing so I can complain to the world trick. I know nothing is easy, just wish it was sometimes, ya know. Why can't there be a pot o gold lying around somewhere. Course if I was really hoping for the easy way the least I could do is buy a lottery ticket.

Alright going to quit complaining, and go find a way to make more money.

Pojectile

Sure enough, projectile vomit, not my mouth worse my poor little 7wk old baby is sick. Makes me mad, course not that I am surprised.

She is doing much better at the time I am writing this. She has kept her milk down for a solid 4 hours now, so hopefully its over. Time will tell. She got awfully pale, and just wanted to sleep and be held. So I gladly did that.

Had to do dance class today with Macy, she loves to dance. She got to wear her new Tutu, and show it off. Then we had a few errands to run. Once we got home we all snuggled on the couch, then Macy took a nap. Rozi and I snuggled in, she slept and I watched a movie. I didn't accomplish much today, but it felt good to just relax. Hopefully it will help us all feel better.

Making brownies, Don rented a movie and we are all gonna snuggle on the couch tonight. Sounds warm, and cozy.

Sick N Tired......

So I was really hoping that by taking my kids not to daycare, but to the neighbors we would skate through this cold season. NO SUCH LUCK!

The very first day I am dropping off the kids and neighbor says: "Oh by the way we are all suffering from a head cold!" Figures. So of course Macy has been sick ever since, and now I have a sore throat and pounding headache. Then as I am once again dropping them off this week: "oh by the way, the kids have been throwing up all night." GREAT!

So I expect to see projectile vomit in the near future, probably from my own mouth because I seem to be the one who gets the stomach flu. Can't wait.

Well, we made it through anyways. Slightly scratched, a little run down, but now we have 5 days. I hope that we can have some fun, get some chores done, and who knows maybe do something special. No matter what I am glad to be home with the girls and enjoy their company.

Oh shit, just remembered I have to work Saturday...oh well won't let that ruin it. Hope I don't forget again between now and then! What a shame that would be!

Winter Fun

Well, although I would love to be on a beach somewhere in all reality I really do enjoy winter. As long as were having fun!

We have had some fun so far this winter so I thought I would take a moment and share some pictures!!

Macy has been sledding down our "Mega Drift" in the back yard.

The day after Thanksgiving we all loaded up in the truck to go hunting, Don shot a nice buck in Sheep Creek Canyon. He says it is "One for the Girls" seeing as it was Rozi's first time hunting.

Don has brought home some ducks, with Gunner the "Amazing Duck Dog"!

We built a wonderful snowman, who because of the freezing temperatures has managed to stay put in our yard still.

Don pulled Macy and I around with the 4-wheeler in sub-zero temperatures and I thought I might freeze my cheeks off!!!

And, we even had time to ride. We went to a Team Penning and Sorting, where we took 3rd overall in the Sorting!

See who says you can't have fun in winter, you just FREEZE TO DEATH trying.

SURVIVED

Check it out, all my complaining and we survived our first work week just fine!!!!

Macy was a little grumpy last night when I picked her up, due to no naps, and Rozalyn would not let us put her down, and had to sleep the first half of the night with us.....but other than that all was okay!!!

I did fine, I really do love my job, so that makes it easier for me. We had a lot going on, and I could tell that everyone was really happy to have me back. Always makes you feel good. We had an emergency surgery come in at lunch and I got to assist, it was and Eye Enucleation (eye removal) on a Shi tzu. Poor thing got hit by a car, but she will be fine.

Also, on the goal front working on ready my first book, but even better we are working on finishing some of those house projects. Thought I would include some pictures of our front entry way. Tile is complete and looks fantastic, can't wait to tile our kitchen and other bath now, but have to finish all the unfinished projects first!!

Well, looking forward to my next 5 days off, rough life I tell ya! Worked with a couple of horses today, the weather was wonderful. Macy played in the snow, built snow castles and had a blast. Rozalyn took a nap in the truck. It felt good to be back working with my horses!!

All in all a wonderful day.

And Were Off!

January 3 2011, off to a good start I got out of bed!!

Just kidding, doing well, not looking forward to work tomorrow, but grateful I have a job to go back too!! Only 2 days a week, I think I can manage that. At least I hope I can!! Was able to get my neighbor across the street to agree to watch both Macy and Rozalyn, so at least they do not have to go back to commercial daycare. I am really glad Rozi doesn't have to go there, it was a decent enough daycare, but I think that little babies are the ones that really get ignored at daycares.

I hope that my neighbor will take good care of both of them, and that these 2 days a week will go by quickly and they will not miss being home and with me. That they will have fun, and get enough love and attention to make it through.

Other than that I hope that between Don and I we can make enough to pay our bills and hopefully set a little aside each month to have a small back up fund if needed! If we can do all that it will be worth it, and I am so glad that I have 5 days a week to spend with my girls, and 2 of those even with Don.

So I guess I can't complain so far so good in 2011, I hope it is a GREAT YEAR!