Number Streets

"All the sounds, all the right places....all the right moves, all the right faces."
                                                                                                   All The Right Moves - One Republic



In 1992 I rolled into the state of Idaho. I was impressed at first, as we came out of Hoback Junction, this looked a lot like where I was coming from. I could like this place. Then we made a sweeping curve onto Highway 20, and headed Northeast. As I watched out my window, disappointment settled in. I did not like this flat land, it was grey and dead. The few trees I saw where bare of their leaves, and the sky was a foreboding grey October bleakness. I did not like Idaho, not at all.

We moved to Chester, Idaho from Breckenridge, Colorado. This was not my first move, as a matter of fact it was close to my 10th. I was not a rookie, and had always embraced moving. I did not like this flat, mountain-less dessert. My parents were quick to point out we had a view of the Tetons.....that seemed to be a million miles away.  I never complained about it, I really didn't say much at all. We moved into an amazing house. I had my horse, my parents went to great efforts for me to be able to continue to learn to ride, I could ride out our driveway into the foothills and disappear. It was turning into a cool place...it was the first place I ever skinny dipped with someone besides myself.

We moved a lot in Idaho. I went to four different schools in Idaho, the final change my personal choice. My entire youth I would tell people I was "from" Colorado. I learned to like, not love, Idaho. There are some amazing things, like jumping off a bridge into the snake river, swimming in the Buffalo river, climbing mount Jefferson, summers in Island Park, Jefferson County Stampede, wind surfing in Blacktail, Hiese Hot Springs....ok I admit it was growing on me. But I was from Colorado, still vowed to go back. I was the typical college kid gonna blow this pop stand. Couldn't wait to leave, the first chance I got a one way ticket to California....I took it. Never made it, ended up in Western Idaho....didn't like it came back to Eastern.

A few years later met a boy, raised in Idaho. He owned Idaho land, I didn't like that...but he was charming and special. There really was something about him that kept drawing me in. We dated (rode horses in the mountains of Idaho), I don't think he ever took me on a real date....except for that time at the truck stop. I don't think a truck stop and chicken fried really counts. Nine weeks into this whirlwind, he proposed...it was not what I imagined, it was never how I wanted it. It was perfect, and I said Yes.

Married and living in Ririe, Idaho on owned land. We lost land and bought land. We raised horses and cattle, and a goat. Then we had a baby, and then another. We lost a business, and we struggled through life. Things were getting difficult, and I started to blame the fact that I never got out of Idaho, I never saw the world I had planned on seeing. I never got back to Colorado.

An opportunity knocked and I jumped after it, he came along with me because he loves me. He saw we needed something different, a change of latitude really does change the attitude. It saves the soul, heals wounds.

A week ago to this moment we crossed into Idaho.....GOD it was beautiful. Island Park is gorgeous in the spring, and I had so many fond memories in that valley with my father, and many friends. We came down the hill passed thru childhood memories. As I watched out the window, the Tetons came into view and my eyes welled with tears. I can't tell you how beautiful they are.....you have to stand in their presence to really understand.

We were home....in more ways than one. Often in my youth I had to come through the number streets in Idaho Falls to get to my second home, the aquatic center now just feet from my door. I loved these streets, I would drive down them before the world awakes, and they were beautiful in their silence. I always thought if I had to live in Idaho Falls, I would live on one of those streets. Full of history, life, color, and beauty.

We are home, I am from Idaho.

The path you walk, always leads somewhere

Well, we made it to the mainland.

Landed in Salt Lake City, UT May 3, 2013.

We got into Utah at 11pm, friends were waiting to pick us up, we loaded all our crap (minus 1 stroller, story for another time), 2 kids, and 2 dogs into their pickup truck and headed North. We cruised into Idaho Falls, Idaho at 2am. Exhausted we crawled onto couches, and air mattresses and passed out.

I woke up at 6am. I knew we had so much to do in 24hrs before we were on the road again. We cruised Idaho Falls, and surrounding all day Saturday looking for wheels. At 4pm we agreed to disagree, I lost this one and Don got the big diesel truck his heart was set on. I was so exhausted at this point I probably would have agreed to a Jet Airplane if only his credit would allow.

Sunday morning we loaded everything up again, headed to Ririe, Idaho to empty our storage unit. It is amazing how much dust collects in 14 months. We put all that we could into "monster truck" and our rented Uhaul trailer, and hit the road.

200 miles later the poor girls, who just spent 1+ year on a 26 X 8 mile island, wondered if we were ever going to stop driving. We coasted into Bozeman, MT at dusk. Finally we made it.

That was not the end of the adventure....I wish. Don started work the following day, and me and the girls started house hunting...kind of. The "monster truck" was with Don, so I was limited to calls and appointments set for the following day. That evening when Don arrived home, me waiting anxiously to hear about his first day. I greeted him at the door (of yet, another friends home) and was met with a shake of the head, and he mumbled "same shit, different day." Great....he hates it.

The next morning all my appointments from the day before were cancelled due to the places already being rented. So I drove around Bozeman and made new appointments. All I was finding was over priced apartments and contaminated mobile homes. The day ended in stress, and no promising answers. I did have one appointment for a Condo that sounded good, but I suspected that before we could make it Wednesday night it would be rented. Don was assingned to the "420" crew, and his day was brought down a notch. Hate was not a strong enough word. Neither of us said a word to the other, but you could read between us, and we were both thinking: "What the hell have we done."

Wednesday was filled with more time wasting home inspections. We did get to keep the condo appointment. Turns out, after all the "junk" I had seen, it was an awesome place "for a condo". We filled out the application on the spot and crossed our fingers.

Thursday morning after I dropped Don at work in Big Sky....yes lots more driving around for the girls, I was sitting in the Bozeman Burger King, and I got a call from the landlords of condo. They took pity on us and our story....we had a home. Of course it wouldn't be ready for a week, but we had a place to hang our hat.

We moved into the hotel across from my new job Monday morning. Being that I was going to be working nights, with only "Monster Truck" it didn't make sense to be round tripping 4 times a day. This would be the third place we would sleep at in the past week Macy pointed out less than impressed. At least "this one has a pool" she added. And I could walk to and from work. Two days and we had a home I promised, this was the final stretch.

I met the landlord Wednesday at the crack of dawn, signed the contracts and got the keys. I unloaded all our luggage into the garage and was thrilled I wouldn't have to move those bags again for a long time. I took Macy to school and began moving our things for the 3rd time from our friends shop. Finally our new adventure in Belgrade, MT could begin.

And now it's over, we're moving again. THE END




I could leave ya hangin'....but that would be mean.

So long story short. We hated our jobs. I worked 34 hrs in two and a half days. I am exhausted, and although my children are not in daycare, they are being attended to by a ZOMBIE! Don is working as a Journeyman carpenter, he took the job to get him back into the states. He knew thought it was a stepping stone, ...it just turned out to be a stepping bog.

Last week, outta the blue Don gets a call for an interview from a company in Spokane, WA. One of our many applied resumes had been found, and they were really interested in Don. Even more so when they found out he was no longer in the USVI, but right next door in BIG SKY country. They called again the next day and scheduled a phone interview for the following week. We couldn't stop thinking about it all weekend. Trying so hard not to get our hopes up. I was so excited, but on the second hand I didn't know if I should unpack, or start packing.

Phone interview was last night. Prayers were answered, they love him and are really excited to meet him. The owner of the company is coming down Friday and Don is meeting him in Butte, MT. If it all goes well he will be a new member of their team as a Working Superintendent!!!!

The best part....the project they are starting him on is in...IDAHO FALLS, ID. Then the next one is in Rexburg, potential one in Pocatello. Apparently they do a lot of commercial construction in SE Idaho.

Of course we hung the pictures on the walls this past weekend. That always cinches things, right? So I guess I'll stop unpacking. I can't complain, we love Montana, but Idaho is home. Funny thing, if you let yourself you really are guided in life. Not always in the direction you are expecting, but you will be led to water you just have to be willing to drink.

SO....I guess we are not done moving. Please if you've been praying for us, keep it up. I would never turn it down, and this ain't final yet. I always do the same for all of you!!

Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes

"Mother, mother ocean I have heard you call.....You've seen it all, you've seen it all...Yes I am a pirate, 200 hundred years to late."
                                  Jimmy Buffett - A Pirate looks at Forty

 I love this island. All of it. The rawness, the beauty, the riches and the poverty. If it was any other way, it wouldn't be my island. We are all so grateful for the experiences, opportunities, lessons, and blessings we have received here. Our lives will be forever richer for our time spent in the Caribbean on an Island at the exact point of:

 17.7500° N, 64.7500° W

However, all that said we are officially moving on to a new adventure. A location very close to our beginning destination. Bozeman, Montana:

45.6797° N, 111.0378° W

Overwhelming all of it is.

I am amazed at the fact that in 14 months we were able to make such an impact on people, and those same people made such an impact on us. I find myself sad again to leave behind friends, people who I grew close to and became dependent on their smiles, and laughter. I feel saddened that Macy has to leave behind her first "Best Friend Ever" at school. I am sad that she may never again attend a school that gathers the entire populous every morning for a prayer, pledge of allegiance  and the VI March. THEY ARE AN UNINCORPORATED TERRITORY and they do this with vigor, valor, and respect. 

I will miss my Mangos, Avacados, Vine Ripe Bananas, Carambola, and so many rich treasures the island has to hold....OH AND CARIBBEAN LOBSTER my mouth is already aching at the unquenchable thought of it. 

And then there is the ocean. The perfect shades of blue, grean, and white. The feel of you on my skin, the splash of you at my feet. The treasures you hold, including my heart. I'v wanted to live by your waters since I was captured in your trance at the age of 5. I can hardly believe that I got to live that dream. To swim in your wake, to see your creatures live and breathe. To hear the sound of a whale calling through your blue. I will be back again. I can't stay away forever...but I have mountain fever, and I've got to see them again. But, I have to say thankyou. You healed my soul, and the soul of my mate. Forever grateful for that blessing we will be. 

No regrets, no rocks un-turned. We came, we searched, we found, and we are forever changed. 

Mother, mother ocean until we meet again.       

Perspective

I recently took this picture (above) while standing on the shores of Buck Island. Buck Island is a small island that was made a National Monument in 1961, it is surrounded in the waters by several species of coral several that are on the verge of extinction, including the magnificent Elkhorn Coral, my personal favorite for many reasons. You can only reach Buck Island by boat, and it is regulated by the National Parks as a preserve. The beach is as Virgin as it gets, the water is unreal, and for us "locals" it gives you a unique perspective of the rock we call home. 

In the last month we have had two sets of visitors. It was a blast, full of fun times and memories. A pleasure to share our Island with these people, and in a way it was nice for us to have witness to what we experienced day in and out on this crazy spot. Although I try, some of our experiences are not easily put into words, and best experienced in person. With our guests here it was fun to once again see our Island through the tourists eyes. It is a place that should be visited often, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT FOR A VACATION. If your thinking of moving here, you haven't been listening and  need your head examined!!!

The first time I arrived on the island of St Croix, USVI stars were in my eyes. I loved the bright, beautiful, bold colors. The architecture was unique and everything I had hoped a pirate town might be. The water.....is what dreams are made of, and a sight and feel I know will never be matched or recreated again other than on the Islands of the Caribbean. My trip was not long enough, and I couldn't wait for my return.  

 I wanted my children to have the experiences of the ocean in their lives, I wanted them to have the lesson and adventure of being in a place where the people were as diverse as the colors on their buildings. The second trip I took to St. Croix my mother, who missed her grandchildren and daughter dearly, strongly encouraged us to consider relocating here. I was tempted, but uttered the simple threat that my husband would never come here....not in a million years. 

We have officially lived here for "more than" a year. Our lives will be richer, our minds expanded, and bucket lists shortened. Although a lot of our experiences have been less than we expected, and we were not prepared for some of the reality of living on an island. How can we complain about the opportunity few will ever take to see the other side of heaven. Mountains are our home, but the ocean heals the soul. Something both Don and I needed dearly. 

I felt strongly on two occasions while our last guest was here that our time here on the island, as a family, is truly coming to an end. This realization should have been a celebration but it actually came with mixed emotion. On one occasion I was greatly saddened at the thought of not standing in the exact spot I was standing ever again. I love that beach, and I love the sound of the ocean beating the sand as the sun kisses the water. Heaven on earth, well one of the places I've found it anyways. The other spot was a place I have often gone "looking" for "personal" direction. Fitting that it is also the "Most Eastern Point of the United States of America". I thought that theses feelings would fill me with joy, but I found them to be mixed emotions of gratitude for my experiences, sadness of leaving, and excitment for adventure and familiarity. My perspective had been renewed through the eyes of guests. This island is magical, and we have been truly blessed to share in the moments of "Lost in Paradise". It was a much needed vacation, like a retreat where you find yourself. 

After she left Don and I sat down and discussed my feelings and we mapped out a plan. We decided to make some changes financially so that we could pay our land off a little sooner. With that debt gone from our plate our needs are greatly reduced. We decided that once that was accomplished we could and would leave with or without the perfect job. We planned to be leaving island by Fall 2013. I liked the idea of that, it gave us time to do the last few things we wanted. Where will we go? Who knows? We know better than that to plan out much of our lives. Sooner is still our prefrence, but financially without a perfect job to go to, we are going to stay here and finish off our land mortgage. All that said.....Don has a very promising interview next week.

Figures, our family motto...."Life is what happens, while your making other plans!"

Positive Vibes

There is a a Senator (the first elected Rastafarian in the territories) here on Island. His given name is Terrence Nelson. However, a big part of the Rastafarian culture is to take on a different name. Terrence is well known throughout the territory as "Positive" Nelson. Part of his campaign was a great slogan of: "Positive is how I live". I have met him, and observed him on several occasions  He truly does appear to live a very positive life, and when living in these territories, watching as your brothers suffer, and struggle. As they choose to live lives that drag them under in currents they cannot swim through. I can only imagine, that this makes Terrence struggle even harder for his brothers. I hope so.

So, as a direct result of this man, everywhere you go on island you see the slogan above. EVERYWHERE! Car bumpers, people, buildings, trees, benches, trash cans. Hell one of the A/C units at my work has this sticker slapped on it. It is a constant reminder to be Positive. Smart campaign, smart idea.

I haven't caught on I guess, I know I tend to be negative about my current state of mind, and residence. This island makes it difficult. I guess that is why someone thought it such a good idea that we have one-thousand reminders daily. I had a friend share something on facebook today, that simply stated: "For one minute walk outside, stand there in complete silence, look up at the sky and contemplate how amazing life really is."

I did this today. I did it yesterday too, as I had a rather cool experience. One I hadn't had in a while. 

I was rushing as usual trying hard not to be late for work and to get out the door with Rozi in tow. On my way to work I need to stop quick at the Post Office to mail my check back to my bank in Idaho. Quickly I rolled up the windows all but an inch or two, locked the doors. Then I unlocked the drivers side because it has the uncanny knack of refusing to let you back in, even with a key. So we don't lock our drivers side door. Promised Rozi I would be a flash, and I ran into the Post. Checked my mail box, empty. Dropped the mail in the slot and was back, a minute if that. Grabbed hold of my door to throw it open, and about ripped the handle off. LOCKED! I stood there a moment in shear amazement. Then quickly I grabbed the key out of my pocket....please work I silently pleaded. Nope. 

I stared through the window at Rozi who had a look of concern and wonder. Also I was staring at my cell phone sitting in the console. Just perfect I thought. Instantly I got mad, I wanted to know why everything had to be so damn hard on this rock. Why I can't just have one thing work as planned. I began to try and convince Rozi to unbuckle herself, which up to this point I was so proud of the fact that she HADN'T figured that out yet. She knew I wanted the door open, and was so intent on trying to reach her door latch while still buckled she couldn't focus on me to listen about the unbuckling instructions I was pleading at her through the window. I stood up looked around, not a soul in sight. I didn't dare walk away from her and I didn't know what to do. I was so frustrated I leaned forward, put me head on the glass closed my eyes and asked. I just needed a little help, just a little.

BEEP, BEEP.

I startled and stood up to look at a tiny white car sitting behind mine. GREAT, I figured just what I needed some good old Cruzan schooling. (They really love to do that here, any chance they get to let you know you done wrong you get it...humbling and infuriating all at the same time.) I assumed the gentleman wanted my parking space and the courteous honk was for me to hurry up. So I ignored him and began again with the unbuckle instructions. I jumped as he spoke, standing right next to me like he materialized on the spot. 

"Locked out?" he asked. I quickly explained my predicament, and he suggested I run to the lumber store about 200 yards away and get a stick to reach the other side door lock. That was when he noticed Rozi, and realized I wouldn't want to leave. He then tried to reach his hand through the window, not a chance. I suggested he push down on the window and I would try my luck. It worked, we popped the window out of the frame, but I got the door open. He stayed with me until the window was fixed good as new. He suggested I leave the window down a little more next time, to which I laughed and replied "No Shit" he laughed too. 

I told him I would pull out so he could have my space. "No mom, I go other way. I turned round to find you," he says, "I be going now." I was shocked, I had been heard.

"Positive is how I live" was plastered on his bumper as I watched him drive away from me in my rear view mirror. 

Goodbye's, linger in my soul

Never an easy task, saying Goodbye.

I find that I am becoming quite emotional as I get older, I am getting more and more attached to relationships, and finding it harder and harder to say goodbye. I feel the distance that escapes between me and the people I love to be more vast and empty.

I personally felt this for the first time 3 1/2 years ago as I stood in an airport in the middle of the night watching my parents get checked in to board a plane 3500 miles away from where I stood. It hurt like hell, my baby cried, clear back into Idaho where sleep finally took over.

A year ago I did the same exact thing to my friends, saying goodbye to some of the best people I have ever know. It hurt a little less, because only days before had I said goodbye to the love of my life, and my final destination would be in his arms again.

Now, as I float in the middle of the Caribbean. I feel the loss of those people so much more. It's the little things that you forget, or don't even bother to notice. Extra help on a weekend, or unexpected visits. Little things that often times seemed inconvenient or poorly planned. I miss them immensely  and realize the gifts that I had. You come to realize how much you relied on those people, and how good they were to you, and how much your truly love them when they are gone.

Recently we had company, two of our dearest friends (more life family really), and we had a blast. Life long memories and moments to share over and over again. Adventures, and laughter filled our days. It amazes me how quickly you rekindle old flames, and how small children become attached to a complete stranger in mere moments of time. Before we could prepare, days slipped by and it was time for them to go. We arrived once again at that tale tail place of arrival and departure. Goodbye was seamless, I didn't want them to regret the fun we had shared. The hugs were warm, and appreciated as a chance to show gratitude and love to last until next time.

As I drove away a tear slid down my face, and then another as I questioned the length of our stay on this tiny mirage in the ocean. Wondering when I would see our great friends again.

Today, we arrived again at that gate of Goodbye. Friends we met a mere 6 months ago were once again leaving our lives. Friends from Don's work, a couple with three charming boys who despite their shrill Puerto Rican voices, and wild antics had found a way into our hearts. They are moving on to bigger and better. Texas their final destination. As we kissed, and hugged, and kissed again. I couldn't help but wonder if I ever will see this family again in my travels of life. Tears welled up, and I washed them down again wanting no sadness to spoil their excited departure.

How can I help you say Goodbye. I don't think there is any easy route to this moment. I would like to do it a lot less than I have in the last year. Yet, in two weeks I will be right here again. Life is full of hellos, and goodbyes....mine seems to have more goodbyes just like sometimes you have more blueberries than cobbler.

Auld Lang Syne

Is a Scots poem written by Robert Burns in 1788 and set to the tune of a traditional folk song. Auld Lang Syne might be loosely translated as "for (the sake of) old times".

Another year has come and gone. That is really hard to believe. It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting in a snow filled, empty parking lot at 4am in the morning. Kissing my husband goodbye. He was getting into the truck of a complete stranger, leaving much to my disappointment on New Years Eve 2011 to go to a new job in North Dakota. I hated that moment with every muscle in my body, with every sentiment in my mind. 

Holidays have always been a big deal in my life. My parents always made a major fuss (not complaining, I loved every minute of it). Every Halloween, Valentines, and St Patricks day I had a small  present sitting at my spot on the table. Birthdays were like a personal royal holiday, and Christmas was always magical. New Years was never any different. We would celebrate until midnight, eating junk and playing games. Never a year can I remember that my parents left us to go to some Fancy party. They always stayed home with us to celebrate the moment that this year became last. Even as I grew up, moved out, got married, every new years we celebrated that moment of change together, even if just through the phone. 

Right then, at that moment as I watched my husband drive away I felt so incredibly alone. My parents were 3500 miles away, and my husband was traveling 600 miles away to work. It would be just me and the girls that New Years. I knew then that this new job would never work. I knew that I could not stand to be so far away from my husband, I couldn't even imagine the other Holidays, birthdays, and precious moments in between that he would miss with working fourteen days, 600 miles away. It was a miserable moment, and honestly the worst New Year I have experienced so far. 

That was 11 months, and 27 days ago. Never in a million years was I prepared for what happened next. (Million years, common term I use for this experience)(Inside joke).

How is it possible for in one year to achieve this:

Sell your home in "the sinking real estate market" for your asking price.
Sell an entire herd of horses and dogs.
Sell 90% of your belongings, just let go of all those personal things that you have spent your life working for...they are after all just material things.
Sell your vehicles, be car free and free of car loans.
Say goodbye to your friends and family (incredibly hard to do by the way).
Load what is left of your belongings (those things you couldn't part with) into a 12 X 12 storage shed, knowing you may never see those things again.
Go to the airport, with 2 children 2 dogs, and your clothes on your back, relocating 3500 miles away.

Meanwhile, some 3500 miles your husband has already relocated to an island in the caribbean, and he has:

Bought a car, paying cash.
Found a place for you to live, with an Ocean view.
Is working his way up a company ladder faster than you can say "shit".

WOW! What a year, we have seen things, done things, and realized several of our "bucket list" goals in the year 2012. I mean really WE SOLD OUR HOUSE!!! Do you realize how long we were trying to do that!!!! ( Nine Years, for those who didn't know) All of these were not Goals we set on Dec 31, 2011. Actually I highly recommend throwing caution to the wind, hang your heart out on the line, and ask for what you really want. I did, and I got it. Not exactly how I imagined it, not where and when I expected it..but I got it all this year. Really I did. I even lost weight! :)

So, put your pens down. Don't do it, do not write those New Years resolutions. I didn't I prayed for change, and then I worked my butt off to get it. May your glass be half full this year, my your memories be bright, your lessons be great, and those moments, the little ones that seem so insignificant...treasure them, they usually don't happen twice.

Happy New Year....this year who knows what the winds might bring, but what ever they are I am going to embrace them. They will take you where you never imagined you could go.

GOOD LUCK