Caribbean "Cruzan" Christmas

Click on this as you read, this is Cruzan Festival (Christmas) Music

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays,Happy Festival, Have a Blessed Season, and a Wondrous Christmas!

These are the greetings I have been met, and left with. If nothing else about this island they know how to throw a party. Everyone is bright and cheery, they exude Christmas spirit. Sharing in the joy of the season. Christmas also known as The Cruzan Christmas Festival, is a really big deal here. They start December 1st and go all the way to Three Kings Day (January 6th), ending with a big street festival and parade.

We missed the big kick off while in Disneyland...the Caribbean's largest boat parade. Apparently this was the best one ever (figures). Everyone decorates their sailboats with lights, and then they do an actual parade through the harbor, which you can watch from the boardwalk. They finish the parade off with fireworks. We caught a small glimpse of these as we drove home from the airport.

Christmas shopping getting you down....no worries as you walk in the stores here on Island they greet you at the door with free samples. To ease your shopping stress, have one, two, or three shots of liqueur right there in the store. Valid ID is all that is required. You can get lit and then shop till you drop!

They ship Coney Island style rides, by boat to the island. They set the rides up in 2 different locations, complete with fairway games. They call this "The Vilage" (not spelled wrong in their opinion). All the prizes are Christmas themed. Local cruzan vendors sell their trinkets, and local cuisine. Cruzan stuffing is divine, so are the shrimp kabobs. We have several parades to attend. The first one is tomorrow night, each concluding at live concerts featuring many of the local artists, which share the same Festival music I shared with you above. The more exotic Carnival Style parades are yet to come after the first of the year, and I will be sure to share pictures. Course the ones from the "adult parade" may be a little.....bare!

We met Santa at the harbor, he arrived on a fire truck, complete with elves and his....donkey?? He was black as night, but to my delight the girls didn't even notice. One of the greatest blessings about living here that I hope they carry forever, is my children do not see a difference in color, they simply see beautiful people!!!! Santa handed out candy and toys, with the steel pan band playing in the background.

We are not short on activities or fun. The weather is warm, not even dipping below 79*, shorts and tank tops is all that we need. It is not the Christmas we know, but it will be one to remember!

Precious Moments

First off I would like to report...I did it!!!! I lost 2 lbs on vacation!!! Faith and confidence revived in myself.

Now to more important things in life then my trivial troubles.

Precious moments in life. Last night we went to an adorable and fun Christmas program at St. Mary's Catholic school. They did a Nativity program, costumes and all. Then each class performed to a classic Christmas song. The 1st grade was of course the best performers of the night, singing Ring Those Bells, complete with Santa hats and jingle bells. Really a fun night.

After the performance Macy and I headed to my car, while Don and Rozi went to the jeep. Separate vehicles due to me working late. While walking to the car Macy and I passed two men arguing heavily. I picked up the pace, turned the corner and reached the car. Upon reaching the car and inserting my key, I found that the car would not unlock. It simply refused to budge, I tried several times with no avail. The arguing men moved into view and I felt some concern, quickly called Don on the phone for help. Luckily he had to simply circle the block and he was there. We quickly found that his key would not work either. The argument had moved down the street out of view, concern was still in the air. Unfortunately St Mary's is in a part of town that is highly recommended to avoid at night.

I had to go to the bathroom, so we decided I would return to the school use the bathroom and ask for assistance. We didn't even know who to call for help here. I left the girls with Don and walked down the street and around the corner. As I turned the corner the argument came  into view once more. Things had gotten physical. I hurried to that side gate into the school complex, as I approached I realized several children, mostly boys had come out the gate. Curious to what was going on. No other adults were in sight, and as I approached the gate I realized this fight was more than that. It was a struggle for life, I screamed at the children to get inside. To my relief I scared them and they went running. Unfortunately for me I was not able to escape the sights and sounds before me. As I entered the school grounds I heard and saw a life fade before me.

We got help, a wrecker on the way for us. Police and ambulances arrived. As we sat and waited in the rain, a lifeless form was loaded into an ambulance. As we sat there, the rain pouring down I really realized how frail life is. We see death a thousand times in the movies. We hear the tragedies on the news. Perhaps some of us have even been their in the frail moments as a loved one slips away. I had never seen anything like this, never hope to again. I true struggle for survival. A brutal moment when a man decides to take a life. I was probably fifteen feet from the actual fight, but I saw and heard more than I will ever forget. Late last night I reflected on what could I have done different. I know in this instance, nothing. But perhaps each day I can do little things that will add up to make a difference.

People are very angry today. Here on this island, but more than that. Everywhere people are angry. I see it on the news, on social media. This anger will not change anything for the better. It will not make things right, or let them heal. I know that a lot of people have seen and felt a lot of heartache the last few years. Loosing all that you have is very painful, I can only imagine.

It is Christmas time, a time of Joy, of Love, or Peace. I only pray that we can let go of our anger, our hate. Turn to our neighbors, our families. Let Love shine through our hearts. Reach out to those in need, give what we can. Help where we are able. Even the smallest smile can change someones day.

Embrace the precious moments. Hold on to the ones you love a little tighter. Life is frail, life is a gift, and you never now if tomorrow will ever come.

Disappointment with a Silver Lining

Fuck This Shit.....I stepped on my scale this morning and threw my hands in the air. Of course I was probably being unrealistic and expecting some sort of miracle from three days ago...but come on, I had been diligent in the last three days. Eating only celery and carrots for lunch....give me a damn pound would you!!

I had come down to the wire. Procrastination is my biggest failure, and in weight loss it is the first failure. I had set a goal, actually a goal within a goal. Hoping to motivate my plateau of weight loss I had most recently reached. I really wanted to loose 10 lbs. before our trip to Disney World. I set this goal in October at which time I weighed 6 lbs less then I do today. So then last Friday I decided I would be very diligent and try my hardest to loose these 6 pesky pounds that found me again in the last month. Reaching the original weight, vowing to be happy with that, go on vacation, to return (probably 6 lbs heavier if not more) and continue working on loosing weight reaching my ultimate goal of 81 lbs total loss (someday right).

I failed.

So I became very disappointed, disappointed in my weight, disappointed in ME. So what did I do today, eat everything in sight. No really I did.

1 Chocolate Pumpkin Muffin
1 Banana (see I started out ok)
2 c. skim milk
4 graham crackers slathered in Nutella (not gonna even bother guessing how much)
4 tbs fried onions ( yep really going for it now)
2 slices of cheese pizza
1 can of Coke
3-4 glasses of water, because you sweat just sitting around

All of that before 2 pm Atlantic Standard Time (sort of, whole other story)

Then as I loaded a grumpy baby in the car to go get her sister, and drove down a jeep trail also known as my road I began to cry. Yep, I did. At first I was crying because I had a headache, Rozi was catter-walling for who know what reason, and I was tired. Then I realized I was crying and began to ponder why. I was so disappointed in myself. I realized at that moment that I had done what I always do. I stepped on the scale so no change, decided FUCK IT I DON'T CARE. And then I ate.

When in all reality I do care. I am sick and tired of being fat. I am not a fat person. I have not been fat since I was a child, I do not have health issues to blame, I am active and physically capable of physical activity. Actually I am quite active, and I feel it. My joints ache due to all the extra weight. My back bothers me often, my feet get swollen when I am on them all day. I hate that I cannot play with my children the way I want to. I can't run and jump with them without being winded. I don't fit in things like my mind thinks I should. I hate the way people look at me when I mention that I have trained horses. I can see the doubt and disbelief in their faces. Not to mention many other unpleasant side effects due to my obesity. There I said it, I am obese.

I am 5'5", my ideal body weight is 125-137 lbs. According to that I am currently 75-87 lbs overweight.

National Institutes of Health states A BMI greater than 25 is considered overweight and a BMI greater than 30 is considered obese.

My BMI (Body Mass Index) is 35.3, OBESE. I don't like it, but it is reality. Time to face reality. That is why I am writing this, I hope it helps someone else, anyone else. But most of all I need to put this down so I can come back here on the next FUCK IT day. I have to stop the cycle.

There is a silver lining in all this.

When we got home first thing I did was log all the food I ate. Face the music. Not a pretty calorie count, but puts it all in perspective. Then I sat down alone in my room and pondered how I was going to stop this, how I was going to change.

Eight months ago I started Weight Watchers. I lost 20 lbs and it felt great. Then I began having a hard time staying with the food program. Food here is very expensive as I have mentioned. Getting things from Wal-mart became difficult and I couldn't afford to buy the same things here. I did okay maintaining, I hadn't gained but I wasn't loosing. Then somewhere in the last 2 months 6 lbs found me. I began to panic it was the worst feeling because with the panic came the feeling of failure, and then the feeling of despair. I think I began to give up. I think that is how I got to today. I believe that is exactly how I got to the 200's years ago. I gave up trying.

I am not a quitter anyone who knows me knows I get back on the horse every time I come off. I have competed with broken bones, I have ridden with fractures I have looked straight into the face of failure and not quit. Somehow this one aspect of my life I keep quitting.

Silver lining in two days we are leaving to go on vacation to Walt Disney World, where we will be walking everywhere.  8 miles a day is the supposed average. Food is outrageous there. I loaded my calorie counter on my iphone. Packed up a bunch of healthy snacks. I want to spend on memories not food. Instead of going on vacation and throwing all diet-caution to the wind, I am going armed to the teeth. I am not going to gain, and I am going to use the magic inspired exercise to come home thinner.

I'm not looking for a miracle, I will take a pound. Shooting for my 6. So check back in ten days and I will let you know how I did. Not to mention how much fun we will have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am up, not down. I feel better, thanks for letting me share. Feel free to cheer me on, I am happy to cheer any of you on just let me know. Join me.....happiness is contagious.

I CAN DO THIS

Thankful

I have done a lot of complaining lately. Sorry for that, and I am ashamed really.

For the first time in years, actually for the first time in my married life, life is perfect. Really it is. Yes, I miss our mountains daily. Yes, we miss all our dear friends and family daily. However, for the last ten years Don and I have really had one hurdle after another. For those of you who have known us all that time, and were there by our sides, you understand.

Really life was not a bowl of cherries for us. A lot of heartache and change, a lot of uncertainty and trial. We had glimmering moments, the birth of both our beautiful girls. Magical moments shared with our friends and family. Adventures and travel, but every corner we turned there was something waiting for us, some challenge we had to overcome. Some of them absolutely heartbreaking and maddening.

8 months ago when yet another curve ball was thrown our way, we did the unexpected, we stepped out onto a ledge that we could not see. We took a really big gamble, with our lives in the balance. We had nothing to loose, and we really needed to gain.

Our lives have brought us to a point that only dreams are made of. Lessons that you cannot teach are presented at our feet daily. We have met people that will change us forever. I have seen great sadness, true poverty and despair like I could never imagine. I have seen great wealth, great generosity in places I would least expect it.

Miracles in nature I only dreamed of seeing have filled  my heart as I float silently in the ocean. Memories are filling our hearts daily that we all will carry the rest of our lives. The sun smiles down on us, and I am truly blessed and grateful.

There are difficulties with island living, but I live on an Island! Every night my husband is home, his arms wrapped tightly around me as I sleep. My children are happy and excited. Laughter fills our house. As I write this a gentle trade wind fills my house, sailboats glide along the ocean, passion fruit blooms scent fill the air. I have a lot to be Thankful for!

I thank God for my family, my health and my families health. I thank God for our wealth, our bills are paid, and although never enough we have savings in place for safe keeping. My animals fill my soul with love. I have friends who pray for our safety, and keep us in their thoughts at all times. My talents and abilities that help keep me motivated and constantly striving to learn and be better. My husband who loves me unconditionally, who holds my heart forever more. For my children who keep me balanced, who teach me lessons everyday, and who fill my heart with more love than it can hold. My family near and far who cheer us on through this amazing adventure. And last but not least for a God who has created this crazy, amazing thing called LIFE!

I am Thankful to have all that I do, and I hope that in the end I will prove to not have wasted my time, and that I will have made a difference in all that I did.

GOD BLESS YOU, GOD KEEP YOU SAFE UNTIL THE END. 

MAKE IT COUNT

Easy Come, Easy Go

Goodbye, so long, farewell.

Land of change, people come and go all day through a tiny little airport. You board your plane in the humidity, or are greeted with promises of tropical paradise painted on the walls as you walk across hot asphalt. People come to this rock for a multitude of reasons. Vacation, work, escape or home. To find love or leave it. No matter the reason, people come and they go.

We have been here 7 or 8 months, depends who you ask. It has been hard making friends, people keep to themselves or if local are surrounded by family. The two of us stick out like sore thumbs. Slowly through work and school we meet people and get to know them. Cultures entwine when we go to the beach or share a dinner. Most people from Don's job have taken to tolerating the rednecks from the backwoods west.

We have become friends with to mid-western kids, hard to say it really, I still feel like a kid, but they are just barely in their twenties. They worked with Don, came to this Island almost a year ago to the day. For a job they came here, with the same company who is paying our bills. Like the rest of us they found adventure and trials in their daily lives here. Upon coming here they left home as high school sweethearts, being in a tropical paradise the chose to get married here. Why not!

We were invited to their wedding, everyone should attend at least one beach side wedding. It was magnificently beautiful with sand in our toes, and the sun parting through the palm trees. Perfection on a wedding day, always worth enjoying. The party was magnificent, the food was fabulous. We are still talking about their cookie table. The girls were a hit, free entertainment for all.

The girls absolutely adore this couple. Katlyn will play and chat with Macy endlessly, and Ben with his goofball antics constantly has them laughing. Really a great couple with a lifetime of potential ahead of them.

Sadly they are leaving this week, returning to the mid-west. They had enough sun, fun, and toil. In a land where children never grow old, and men turn back to children. They are moving on, bigger and better things ahead. Pennsylvania  ill be home, a job in Ben's field, and Katlyn is going back to school. Their family is close, and a Wal-mart just around the corner.

We gained a crock pot, some cookie sheets, and a lot of laughs. In exchange we loose our new found friends. Life on the island.....always changing. Land of the transient people.



Easy Come, Easy Go.

Hell on Earth...if you believe such things. (explicit)

This post is spawned by my most recent frustration in paradise. Cost of living here is off the charts, I pay $5.99 for a gallon of milk folks.  Unless, of course you want to live on Rum (any alcohol really), olive oil, brie cheese, and anything else imported.

FUCK ME!

So Wal-mart recently decided to campaign here and opened their website to us, enticing with FREE shipping on any order over $45.00.

I joined the club, signed up for their Walmart Credit card, and declared aloud "relief at last!" So for the last month I have dutifully gone to Walmart.com on a weekly basis, and filled my "online cart" to the brim, with out an issue surpassing the $45 mark.

Buying baby needs, that are doubled here. Fruit snacks and hair care products. I had been using Suave here, because it is simply all I could afford, my hair has just been returning to its usual luster.   Ziploc baggies, and peanut butter. Apple Juice and cereal....things we haven't been able to afford.

SLAM THE DOOR IN MY FACE!

Went online today, filled my cart and went to check out. Only to be informed that due to shipping restrictions certain items in my cart are no longer able to be shipped. Look for the items highlighted in red it tells me. HIGHLIGHTED! My whole fucking cart is glowing red.

You see the government got wind of this bliss we were all partaking in, and they shoved their greedy fists right into the pot....taxing all things imported from these independent websites. Who refuse to play their politician bingo....so alas our days of "relief" will be a whisper in the past.

I am sitting at my desk, looking out off my deck onto the ocean blue. The sky is overcast today. But Buck Island is clear, its white sand calling all who revel in paradise. You can check in anytime you like, but you may never leave.

I think that it is possibly true, that hell is on earth and Paradise truly can't be found.

For decades, long before my parents moved to this tiny Isle, I dreamed of living by the ocean blue. Of swimming with the fishes daily, and having sun kissed hair. I dreamed of paradise, and thought that it meant sun, sand, and surf.

Well, I can tell you now that paradise is in your heart and soul. Keep it safe, guard it and hold it there. Look deep inside of you, find those things that make you proud of who you are, find the rare little moments that make you glow like a star. That is paradise. Don't look to the other side of that fence, look right in front of you. Paradise is where we reside inside.

I found it....not on an island, but this island made me look inside.

Hope someday to be where my heart resides. My family by my side....where they to are often looking in the distance to the Western Sun.

But for now, with flames licking at our side....we grow, and gain knowledge beyond our years. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and beyond a shadow of a doubt we are where we are supposed to be right here, right now. Even if its Hell on earth.....at least it has those white sandy beaches.

Six Months

Technically I am six days early...but today I have the time to write.

WOW! What an adventure....wouldn't trade it for the world. Living life makes you stronger, leading life makes you wonder, watching life makes you laugh, and holding life makes you love.


We all miss home. Macy asks for her friends. Don is missing his big bucks. I miss my horses, and am already pining for snow. But, right now, in this moment the things we are seeing, the lessons we are learning, I would not change it.

Besides....we are young! Take your life, grab it and live it to the fullest!

It has been pouring rain lately, lots of rain. Like the rest of the world we need it. See we don't have wells for water...there is not much of an aquifer on an island. We use cisterns filled from the rain collected from our roofs. We bath in this water, laundry, and drink it. (the later local Cruzans think we're crazy for, but just the same as good old mountain well water.) The house we live in has two cisterns both holding 15,000 gallons of water, and even ours were getting low. If you run out you can buy water....if your rich and famous.

We have wildlife Whitetail Deer were brought here from Florida in the 1700's as a food source. They still roam the island and are protected....Don has other plans. Iguanas are seen every where and have a razor sharp tail. They vary in size I have seen one that head to tail was 4'. Hermit crabs, and land crabs everywhere (Macy's favorite (besides the sea turtles)). Mongoose were brought to kill the rats that came on ships. Unfortunately the rats kill the mongoose, so yes we have rats BIG ONES. Birds of different species, no parrots. Mostly Egrets, Pelicans, and lots of Doves.

 We have Frigate birds, they are enormous and look like pterodactyls!!


For the most part the people are kind, loving, and demand your respect. Everyone greets everyone either Good-morning, Good-afternoon, or Goodnight. Always and anyone. If you don't you get the look....you never want to get the Cruzan stare...trust me!! Course depending on the person its Gah-marnin', just ask Rozi she has it down perfect. She will speak Cruzan I'm afraid.

Crime is high, rule of thumb we don't stay out past 10pm. There are places you stay away from, and don't go looking for trouble because its big and deadly down here. Most of it is Drug/gang related but they love their weapons, and don't think twice about killing. Sad for many of the locals, seems everyone of them has at least buried one loved one.

Another side of the crime is the poverty (third world country), they will vandalize the cell towers to sell the copper. At Don's job just yesterday, the electricians had bundled a bunch of wire and were putting it away. They took one load across the job, by the time they had returned the rest was gone. The government is very corrupt (again stay out of trouble, keys to cells are sold and people rot in jail). Crimes aren't solved just bought and sold. It seems Crime has a large payroll down here.

I know, it doesn't just happen in movies!!!

BUT......we have paradise lost...



















And then FOUND!


So that's a little about this rock....Don't worry were safe, and don't worry were not lost!! Time flies by, we will see you when we see you ;)!